RUN YOUR CURSOR OVER THE CODE TO DECRYPT
PHASE 1
<title>Get your dead eyes out of my metadata, Zuckerberg.</title>
<meta name="description" content="Introducing Tiny Hands by Trolli: A Sour Brite Deadpool Exclusive.
Alright, now that I got the promotional junk out of the way, let’s talk about the other junk. Because holy Phil Collins, have you seen these photos? As Ghandi always said, “Daddy likey.” Step aside, Marky and the Beavs, there’s a new king of package poses. I can hear Calvin Klein’s jealous heavy breathing from here.
But let’s address the sparkly purple elephant in the room (you see it too, right?). Why are you even here? Who in the actual ass reads meta descriptions on candy websites? You want an Easter egg? Is that why you’re here? Well, I got nothin. At least not yet. Check back when the candy’s out maybe? Wink wink. Hint hint. Subtle subtle."/>
<meta name="keywords" content="hashtag, an, there’s, use, this:, Easter, the, Unscramble, egg,, yes" />
PHASE 2
<title>I see you checking out my metadata. Also, Paul at the NSA, please return my 27 Dresses DVD. You can just bring it to spin class next week. Thanks.</title>
<meta name="description" content="Oh hey. DP here. Check out my website’s giant meta description. Don’t get any thoughts, I’m not compensating for anything. Trust me. Just a bored anti-hero enjoying the sweet playground of a meta-meta-description while snacking on some Trollis.
By the way, I see you keep checking out my package. Can’t say I blame you. That’s right, I’m breaking the fourth wall AND the internet. I always knew Kim KW was my spirit animal. Or more like a 6-legged Kardashian with a lion’s mane and a knack for killing people. Let’s throw in a Gilbert Gottfried voice while we’re at it. Imagine him growling. My God. Adorable.
Oh dear, look at me rambling again. I shouldn’t keep you. I’m sure you have a busy day of scrolling through reddit between important meetings in incognito browser windows. You’re probably just here to take advantage of my Easter eggs anyway. Well Easter or not, my eggs are ready. Hope you like them over-hard."/><meta name="keywords"
PHASE 3
<title>I see you checking out my metadata. Also, Paul at the NSA, you still haven’t returned my 27 Dresses DVD. Please get it back to me ASAP.</title>
<meta name="description" content="I see you’re back for more DP. Just had to come check out this metastasizing meta-description, didya? Noticed it keeps regenerating just like yours truly, huh? Well, here I am cooking up another batch of web coding pasta for you to shovel into your greedy little eye holes.
If you’re confused, you must have missed the last two phases of the site. Shoulda been there, it was a hoot. Lots of laughs, lots of tears. But you’re here with me now, and that’s what matters.
I’ll be honest, though. There’s not really much else here for you. So this is kinda awkward. Plus, duty calls and Dopinder waits and honks and shouts for me. He’s a handful, but I love him.
Behave while I’m gone. You never know when Blind Al might be watching.
DP <3 <3 <3 <==3"/><meta name="keywords" content="hashtag, an, there’s, use, this:, Easter, the, Unscramble, egg,, yes" />
